


The colour of insanity

by RradioactivePpanda



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Sober Gamzee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-04 03:44:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RradioactivePpanda/pseuds/RradioactivePpanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros, in a situation uncomfortably familiar, is backed up on a cliff edge when Gamzee makes an appearance. Unfortunetly it's out of the frying pan and into the fire! (non-con) (sober!Gamzee)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You are Tavros Nitram and you're currently standing on the edge of a cliff, trapped by one Vriska Serket, a situation which is far too similar to when you lost your legs for comfort. A breeze whips your too-long Mohawk forward over your eyes for a second and by the time you've managed to push it back with shaking fingers Vriska's a foot closer, a snarl on her face and her strange eyes are like shards of ice under her furrowed brows.

You look desperately around for something-anything to protect yourself with and you catch sight of your lance lying just out of reach on the ground behind Vriska. Your eyes flick back up to her as she spitefully laughs at you, still advancing. You take a step back but your metallic foot is now perched on the very edge of the ledge and you have nowhere to run.

'Awww, poor pupa,' she jeers, 'why don't you fly away pupa?' She laughs at this and you try to reply, to tell her to leave you alone or else! But your almost non-existent courage has left you again, as it always does and nothing leaves your parched lips but a breathy sound which you try to swallow.

'Whoa, what's going on here? WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS GOING ON?'

You see Vriska's eyes widen slightly before turning to slits again and she spins around, snarling.

'Back off, clown,' she sneers, and turns back to you. You peer over her shoulder to see Gamzee standing a couple of meters of with his head tilted to the side and his clubs hanging at his side. It takes you a moment to realise that the clubs are in fact covered in what can only be blood but you can't tell what shade from here and you are shocked- why would Gamzee have blood on his clubs? Puzzled you look up to his head and it's tilted to one side as a child would and you realise that something is…off. His smile is displaying far more teeth than usual, he has three large scratches across his face and his eyes are hooded as he stares at Vriska's back for a second. His eyes slide to yours for a second and you gasp at the look in them…it's so wrong for that look to be on Gamzees face, so very wrong.

But then Vriska steps into your field of vision and you suddenly realise she is so much closer and looking straight at you with fury. You stutter for a moment and she raises her hands to rest them on your shoulders for a second before applying pressure, slow but steady. Your eyes widen for a moment and your weak metal legs falter a little under her pressure and the heel of one foot slips of the cliff. You gasp and try to regain your balance and push back but it turns out you don't need to because all of a sudden Vriska is yanked back of you and is flung away. She turns in the air and lands on her feet, skidding to a stop with a grimace on her face which turns into a snarl as she jumps back up to her feet.

'I don't think I will, THIS MOTHERFUCKER WONT BACK OFF'

You gape at Gamzee openly. He is standing just a little bit behind from where Vriska was a couple of moments before. How on earth he got there you don't know and you are momentarily stunned by the fact that Gamzee managed to throw Vriska off. He's got that manic grin on his face still and you take a step forward towards him and raise a shaking hand to place it on his arm. You feel the muscles below his skin move like metal under silk and his eyes slide over to you, studying your face for a second in which you don't dare move.

'g-g-Gamzee?' You ask, stumbling and stuttering like you always do and his grin grows impossibly wider, showing rows of very sharp teeth.

But then suddenly he is a blur off movement spinning away from you and your hand stays hanging in mid-air as if his arm was still beneath it. He's jumped forward with his clubs raised in the air over his head towards a rapidly approaching Vriska. She runs straight at him like a bull to a flash of red and he spins smartly out of the way before turning to hit her directly in the middle of her back with a load thump. She cries out and turns again, running back to where Gamzee's jumped off to. He dodges again and you marvel at their speed and grace; it's as if they've taken part in a deathly dance that only they know and you try to think of a time where you've seen Gamzee this focused. You come up blank.

All of a sudden the dance stops when you see Gamzee swing his clubs not at her back but at her knees and she falls onto them before him and he lets the clubs skitter of across the floor. He grabs her horns and there's a moment of silence filled with nothing but her heavy breathing. She stares up at him through the ragged mess of her hair and you can see from here the furious rise and fall of her chest and the way her fingers clench into a fist on the ground. You move forward, opening your mouth to say something and her eyes slide to you for a moment when Gamzee moves impossibly quickly and twists her horns viciously round and there's an audible crack as her fingers spasm, her eyes roll up into her head and her neck breaks.

You heart seems to skip a beat and there is more silence interrupted by the thump of her body as she falls almost in slow motion and she lies there sprawled at Gamzees feet.

Your mouth is open but no sound comes out and you stare at her still body not quite believing she gone. You hear a HONK and your eyes snap up to Gamzees. He's watching you again and his grin is still there. He takes steps up to you, not walking like Gamzee normally does but in a purposeful lope similar to that of a predator. He moves right up to you and bends a little because even though your metal legs make you feel tall there is no way that you'd be taller than Gamzee.

'Couldn't let a motherfucker harm a bro, could i? MOTHERFUCKING NO WAY. That chica was all up in your face HUH BRO? She's got no right to be all up there NO FUCKING RIGHT. MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES I STOPPED HER right bro?'

He laughs and you watch a streak of indigo blood roll down his angular cheekbone from one of those terrible slashes as his laugh alternates between high cackling and ragged low chuckles. He doesn't seem to expect an answer; instead he reaches up for your horn and grabs it with his long fingers. He's got it in a tight grip and quite close to the base where it's all sensitive and you try your hardest not to do something embarrassing like moan. He tugs and your head follows after his movement and he turns and walks away, taking you along with him, his fingers still wrapped around your horn. He walks straight over Vriska's body but you try to avoid it and almost trip but Gamzee tugs you along anyway.

'UH, G-g-AmzeE', you stutter awkwardly but he doesn't say anything and you shut up pretty quickly, especially because your stuttering has increased tenfold and you can hardly say one word let alone an intelligible string of them. He's pulled you back inside and you're tripping after him on your weak metal legs as best as you can whilst being dragged around by your horn. You follow him through corridors and you come to the lab which he drags you into without a sound. Your eyes search the dark and come across what looks like a body but you can't see properly because it's too dark and the only light is coming from the multiple screens around the room which are mostly blank and cast eerie shadows across the room. You can't really tell if it's a body and try to put it from your mind but a second later you pass Gamzee's horn pile and from behind it you can see a limp arm resting in a pool of dark blood, pink by the looks of it but you're not entirely sure. There's no way that the hand could be anything else and suddenly you can do nothing but stutter, your alarmed voice disjointed and panicked.

Gamzee doesn't even look back just tugs extra hard on your horn. He then swings it so you trip around him and are standing in front of him with your back up against a wall in between two blank screens. You can't help but let out a squeak and Gamzee bends down again so his nose is touching yours and his hooded eyes are staring directly into your wide ones. He's still got your horn in a tight grip and its pinned to the wall so you re unable to move you head an inch away from his…not that you'd dare too.

'You know I think it's a miracle' He starts, talking slowly and surely. 'A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE that you like me tav. I know you do, you can't hide anything from me, NOTHING. You like me don't you? DON'T YOU TAVBRO?'

You try to shake your head because you don't have feelings for this new scary Gamzee but somewhere along the way it turns into a nod and you jerk your head back to stop the betrayal of your own body and one of your horns crashes into the screen next to your head, showering sparks everywhere. The lights on the screens flickers and crackles and the wavering white light throws Gamzees sharp face into a scary relief.

Gamzee doesn't even seem to notice and he's now moving closer and closer and one of his hands is sliding up to cradle the back of your head tenderly and his fingers tangle themselves in your ruffled Mohawk and his lips press against yours; warm and soft and gentle. Your eyes are wide staring into his but he parts your lips with his and then your breath rushes into his mouth and it's like your sharing air, sharing a lifeline and your eyes slide shut on their own accord. He tilts his head to the side and his tongue meets yours and suddenly you're properly kissing Gamzee and your body moves by itself and your hands rise to clutch at the fabric of his shirt which is wet with blood.

You think maybe your Gamzee is back, you hope your Gamzee has returned, hope so hard it hurts but all off a sudden the fingers that are cupping the back of your head have entangled themselves tightly into your hair and he's yanked it so that your mouth is ripped from his and your head is pulled back so you're staring at the ceiling gasping for breath and your throat is bared to him. he leans forward and licks all the way from the bottom of your neck to the top and then sink his teeth into the soft flesh at the junction of neck and shoulder and your screaming because that really hurts but he doesn't relinquish his grip on your hair nor on your throat and the hands that you'd grasped his shirt with are now pushing uselessly against the flat planes of his chest with little effect on the taller troll.

Tears sting at your eyes but you try to blink them away. Somehow they still manage to escape and they slip down your cheeks and down the column of your neck. You feel Gamzee's teeth pull out of your neck and then the soft pad of his tongue replaces them and he laps at the wound he made before moving up and licking the tears that have rolled down your neck. You take a big shuddery breath and renew your efforts at pushing him of. You try to swing a fist at him but he manages to grab your hand out of the air and he slams your wrist up into the wall beside your hand and you cry out. He snarls at you and for a second the grin slips from his face revealing a bared teeth scowl and the guttural sound emitting from him shocks you into silence. Gamzee would never make a sound like that, never.

'What do you think you're doing? WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT' he growls into your face and you cringe from him, trying to shrink away. 'You think a gutterblood like you can stop me?'

You suck in a breath so quick it hurts and feel a little bit of your heart break. Gamzee was the only one who never seemed to care about your blood, it never mattered that you were at the other end of the hemospectrum when you were with him and hearing those words fall from his lips is like someone has plunged an ice cold knife straight through your heart.

For some reason Gamzees gone still though and his grin slips back up and his pupils slide to look out of the corner of his eyes. He lets out a little giggle and lets go of you. Your wrist falls limply to your side and you feel your legs weaken. You hear a noise and realise why Gamzee stopped momentarily.

'KK?' Someone calls into the darkness 'ith that you kk?' You hear. Oh god-sollux! You see Gamzee turn menacingly towards the door and you've got to do something, warn him to get away. You open your mouth but somehow Gamzee expects that and grabs a metal bar from the floor at his feet which he then swipes under your legs. Your metal legs fall from beneath you and you slam onto the floor in an awkward position and all the air is forced from your lungs in a loud whoosh that rushes up your throat and through your lips. The approaching footsteps pause

'KK?'

Gamzee is now loping towards the door with the metal bar dangling from his hand and you try to suck enough air to yell but somehow your lungs aren't working as they should and the air doesn't enter your lungs like you want. Gamzee is now by the door and he slinks out into the darkness of the corridor and you strain your ears for any noise. There is a honk and a load gasp, a crunch and a loud thump as something heavy hits the floor. You sit gasping by the door- you desperatly hope sollux is okay but you still can't bring yourself to hope for Gamzee to be killed even though you try and you hate yourself in that moment. There is still silence and you try your best to get up but those metal legs of yours won't function properly so you just shuffle yourself sideways along the wall as fast as you can. Which isn't very fast at all and soon Gamzee darts in from the darkness, the metal bar dripping yellow blood onto the floor steadily.

You gaze up in horror at him and try once more to get up but you just scramble miserably at the bottom of the wall and your palms skitter across the wall and floor looking for purchase.

'Where are you going? WHERE DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING FILTH?' He bends swiftly so he's crouching on his heels and reaches forward to grab at your ankles. He then yanks them towards him and you slide across the floor. You lose the support of the wall and slam onto the floor, cracking your head hard. Gamzee still crouches, now in between your legs and his hands move, one pinning your shoulder down onto the floor and the other next to your head and he leans forward so he's looking directly into your face from above.

'ILL GIVE YOU A CLUE MOTHERFUCKER'. He says, moving closer so that he is cheek to cheek with you and his mouth is right next to your ear and he whispers to you, his breath tickling the inside of your ear 'you're going nowhere'.

You begin to cry in earnest then, tears slipping steadily from under your eyelids, down your cheeks to pool on the floor besides you. Gamzee doesn't seem to care and he's tugging at your clothes with his hands even though you try to stop him. He snarls at you and gives up on getting the shirt of in one piece opting instead for ripping it straight of your body. The cold on your skin is a shock and you instantly feel your muscles tense up in the change. You're hitting at Gamzee's hands now, grabbing at his wrists but whenever you manage to catch one he impatiently shakes you off with the ease of swatting a fly and returns to raking his claws down your flat chest. He digs them in harder and you cry out as the skin breaks and your despised brown blood swells up into the scratches left behind by his hands.

His hands move to your shorts and you buck into him in an attempt to get him off but to no avail and he's now pulling them of you and you've never been the bare in front of anyone and this is not how you wanted it to be. He's smoothing his hands up your metallic shins and then over your knees and then to where the metal meets skin half way up your thighs and you can feel the warmth from them creep up your skin and he palms your bone bulge and you can't help but gasp at the sensation. Your body is betraying you and you're getting hard and you hate yourself for your traitorous reaction more than ever before but it doesn't stop Gamzee who by now has struggled off his clothes to reveal his lean body; still a little skinny and though you can see the muscles in his arms and stomach you can also see his ribs pressing against the skin of his chest. You don't dare to look any lower. He's crawling up your body and for some reason shoves his fingers into your mouth and for a second you choke on them and he withdraws them covered in your saliva, and you can feel some of your spit leak out the side of your mouth.

Gamzee moves quickly then, grabbing at one of your thighs and pushing it up against you, so hard that it presses against your torso and you can feel the metal of your leg against your skin. This leaves you unprotected and he moves his fingers down to push against your entrance. You freeze for a second, totally unsure of what's happening and stare at him in confusion. His stare meets yours and he grins wider before pushing hard and one of his fingers passes the opening and you can feel it slide up into you. You jump and cry out, trying to squirm away from the unfamiliar intrusion but his grip on you is to strong and struggling just pushes his digit further into you. He smiles wickedly and thrusts that finger back and forward, watching your body contort as you try escape from him unsuccessfully. Soon he's adding pressure for a second finger and you don't believe that it would fit but somehow it does after some pushing and you keen as it joins the first inside of you. Gamzee laughs and scissors his fingers in you, your untouched insides clamping on his digits. He curls them and twists them and adds a third and its now painful, this stretching and you clench your hands into fists and push the heel of your hands into your eyes which are wet from tears and your body is wracked in great shuddery gasps.

He leans forwards again so he's right up close, his fingers still in you and murmurs into your ear

'Hush hush' he croons and he sounds so tender and you cry harder. 'Huuuush hush little boy'

He then manages to flip your whole body so you're on your front with your face against the floor and he slides an arm under your stomach and pulls up, and your knees automatically settle on the floor with your backside in the air and you can't stop your whimpering cries as he uses a hand between your shoulder blades to hold you down to the floor and finishes his words

'REMEMBER, THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE MOTHERFUCKING MADE FOR'

He cackles madly then and you scream into the crook of your elbow and it hurts your throat so bad and you can feel him spreading you and you try to squirm away but it doesn't work and for some reason there's this odd noise behind you

'T-TAVROS, RUN!' yells Gamzee's voice and you know it's your Gamzee so you try to, to bend and wiggle to get away whilst his grip is slack but your legs are entirely useless and before you know it Gamzee's voice has been cut off in a sort of gurgle and his hands grab at you harder than before, his nails sinking into the soft skin of your waist and he snarls

'Don't listen to that motherfucker, GAMZEE'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU'

He's pressed up against you again and this time he pushes hard and you gasp at the shock of being breached by his bone bulge. Your suddenly hyperaware of everything, of the metal floor against your arms, of the sweat pooling between your shoulder blades, of where his hands are gripping your sides and you can feel every inch of you stretch as he slowly sinks in. Your back arches and you begin to hyperventilate- any air you suck into your body doesn't seem to want to come out and you are left making hoarse gasping noises as your breath gets ripped away.

He stops for a second; not fully in yet, and leans down so he's got you in a weird embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder and his mouth breathing right next to your ear. His hands have slid under your body again and your back is flush against his front and you can feel his skin slide over yours.

'hush hush' he whispers once more and you try to turn your head away but then he thrusts hard, all the way in and you throw your head back and scream. Scream and scream and scream, your throat working and burning and your eyes staring wide up to the ceiling and below your screaming you can hear Gamzee laughing right next to your ear, feel his body moving as he snickers and the feeling is amplified where he is pushed into you. He pulls out, moving so he is no longer embracing you and his hands return to grasp at your body and hold you still while he thrusts back in.

It burns terribly and you can feel yourself tear as he moves; steadily pushing in and out. you feel blood dribble down your legs and it's warm and heavy as it trickles down to the inside of your thighs. You try to cushion yourself with your arms as you get jerked forward every time he slams back into you but it does little and you can feel the skin of your forearm get ripped against the metal floor. Each time he pushes in your legs screech a little across the floor and you struggle to catch your breath. He then surprises you when he reaches in front of you to grasp your bulge. He strokes you patiently and you are oh-so ashamed when you quickly return to being hard.

'N-no Gamzeee! please DON'T !Gamzee!' but he doesn't listen and just laughs over your pleads and you try to call back your Gamzee but this makes him angry and he digs his nails into you sensitive bulge and you can't scream anymore so you push your face into the corner of your elbow and try to block out everything-you can't though; Gamzee's everywhere, surrounding you and under your skin and his laughing rings in your ears and you just can't stop the tears from streaming down your face and they run into your open mouth and you can taste the saltiness on your tongue.

He strokes you hard and fast, alternating between steady paces and rapid tugs, similar to his movement behind you and the sensory overload pushes you of the edge and you come hard and fast, gasping for breath. Your genetic material splatters on the floor and joins the pool of blood between your legs and you clench down hard and this seems to finish Gamzee off; he growls and leans forward once more, biting into the bare side of your neck again as he paints your insides indigo.

His tense body relaxes, goes soft against your back and he pulls out, the blood on your thighs mixes with his indigo and you breathlessly whimper. He pulls away from you, moving off and you try to move from the absurd position you're in but your metal legs have jammed and you don't have the energy to do more about than tilt your hips to one side so that you go crashing down onto the floor and you wince when your hips hit the floor but you're sorer in other places. You move your head because your horns stop you from putting it on its side to stare at the ceiling and notice how the shadows caused by the screen lights dance across it. You lift your hand and see your blood mingled with his on your fingers and you study the colour for a second. To you it looks like the colour of insanity.


	2. Chapter 2

There is a moment, when Tavros' body is limp and splattered with shades of indigo and brown, that He sits back to bask in the smug satisfaction he has wrought from the person you hold so dear. In that moment you strike, moving fast and shoving him out of control of your body. He fights obviously, but you've managed to catch him off guard and though he bites and spits you succeed in pushing him back into the dark spaces at the back of your head; to shove the door closed on his matter and lock the door. You then crush the key and melt it into an unrecognisable mental lump for good measure. He yells and hisses at you but remains there.

You can feel yourself settling back into control of your body; feel it spread to the tips of your toes, your fingers, your horns, and realise that you've curled up with your head clutched in your hands in that momentary struggle with Him. You double check, triple check that He is safely blocked away in the back of your head before sitting up and turning to face the crumpled body of Tavros.

He is beautiful in his defiled state now as he always is; his slim body spread out on the cold metal of the floor. You crawl closer and stare at his face. Now, even in unconsciousness he looks sad, as if the traumas he's seen follow him everywhere, even into his dreams. The fringe of his too-long Mohawk is covering his eyes and gently you brush it from his forehead, to reveal the soft planes of his face; the curve of his jaw; the small, upturned point of his nose; long, dark lashes settled on the smooth arch of his cheek which are streaked with drying tears; the smooth expanse of his eyelids. His mouth is slightly open and his lips plump, though obscured by brown blood from where he'd bitten through the skin. You swipe this blood from his lips in the same way you did to his shaggy hair and feel so much hatred; not for him (never for him) but for yourself; your weakness and stupidity, your…other half. This other half rears his malicious head and whispers straight into your heart

{OOOOOHHHH,} he coos, {did someone hurt poor little Tav?}

You snarl at him but He takes no heed

{Look at that common muddy bloody across his lips, DOESN'T IT DISGUST YOU?} He snickers, {no, of course not... because it's beautiful, just like him}

He sighs, a wistful sound and continues even when you hiss at him to be quiet

{He put on a marvellous show, didn't he? So much SQUIRMING and ARCHING and CRYING, so hot and tight and soft, DEFENCELESS AND PATHETIC.}

At this you yell at him, clench your fists so hard that the nails draw blood from the palm of your hands

[ShUt Up! RiGhT NoW! YOu KnOw NoThInG oF bEaUtY!]

He just cackles before retreating into the back of your head again, leaving you panting and bent over Tavros' body. Your eyes follow the sweeping column of his neck to the hollow at its base and the teeth marks that mar the soft juncture just above his collar bone. You catch a sob as it rips up through your throat and yank your eyes away from the bloodied flesh. You remember the way you'd kissed him and the way that he'd relaxed into your arms and leaned into the kiss; the way he smelt and felt so uniquely like Tavros. Yet you also remember the way the other you had roughly pulled his head back and the way your (no, His) fangs had sunk deeply into Tavros' skin, the way he'd gone rigid with shock and cried for you (no, for Him) to stop.

You can see bruises on his arms and on the sweeeping, bony protrusion of his collar bone; finger shaped marks that match yours perfectly. On his waist and hips he also bares long scratch marks that swell with his brown blood. These marks adorn his chest, scattered here and there; one across a nipple, the other crossing the small dip where the end of his ribcage meets the soft of his belly. Another follows the concave in his skin were his body goes from abdomen to sudden rise of hip bone and this crosses down across to the inside of his thigh. Between those supple thighs is a mixture of colours; the brown of his blood smeared over the inside of his legs and gathering in the link between flesh and the metal of his legs, dripping slowly onto the floor- blending with your rich indigo.

You don't manage to stop the next sob that racks your body and you stare at his hauntingly beautiful figure with stinging wetness gathering in your eyes. You unclench a fist to reach up to his smaller hand that had been thrown limply out to his side and tangle your fingers with his.

You want him to wake up so that you can check that he is going to be alright.

No, you want him to stay asleep, at peace in his dreamland; so that you don't have to see his eyes open and stare at you in fear and hatred.

You know that he will hate you; Tavros, who could never hate anyone, even if, like Vriska, they went out of their way to cause him misery. Of course he will detest you, after all you'd (no, He'd) done to him- not even Tavros' heart was big enough to not do so and you think that your heart, which is already clenching tightly within your chest, will surely break into a million pieces. What is life with Tavros? Without his laughter and his shy smiles, his not-so-sick beats and his crushing self-consciousness. You'll never get a chance to tell how he really is a miracle, to tell him to not let people walk over him, to be there and protect him when they try because the moment his eyes flicker open you know he'll want to be as far away from you as possible.

Of course you don't blame him.

You blame yourself. You blame Him.

{US,} he says

You tell Him to shut up. He does, but only for a second. He contemplates your words for a second before starting up again

{I see what's in your head, I KNOW.} He pauses - {I've been here all along motherfucker, watching you STRUGGLE and FIGHT feelings. He was clueless, PATHETIC and clueless. You knew he wanted you, I KNEW HE WANTED YOU, but he was WEAK, a STUTTERING MISERABLE MESS.}

You yell at him. He carries on regardless.

{I just did what you wanted -DID WHAT WAS NEEDED, took what was rightfully OURS. He has no place being on equal grounds with us; his face forced against the floor and his hips up in the air is where he should be, WHERE HE DESERVES TO BE}

You bury you head in your hands and yank at your hair. He has no physical control over you but his words twist like a knife in your heart

{I know you enjoyed it motherfucker, KNOW YOU FELT WHAT I FELT, SAW WHAT I SAW. Remember how he called out for you, screamed for you to come back? WHY DIDN'T YOU, MOTHERFUCKER? WHY NOT? Because you wanted it, needed it like I did, don't try to FUCKING PRETEND OTHERWISE.}

Of course you remember his crying out for you and just before He had forced himself in you'd knocked him loose and yelled for Tavros to run. He'd tried, struggled with those legs that refused to cooperate but before he could get anywhere He was back in power, sending you reeling back into the depths of the prison within your own head. He taunted Tavros before pushing and parting untouched flesh, making him tense and scream and arch like a bow, only succeeding in pushing you (Him) further in to the tight, hot bliss of his body. How could you forget that? It will be forever seared into your brain; that moment of pure ecstasy clashing with your desperation and Tavros' cries.

You struggle to resurface from the haunting memory and shake your head vigorously, as if somehow that could throw Him from you. He is silent again, watching through your eyes as they once more turn to gaze upon Tavros, who whimpers quietly in his sleep. You reach for your trousers which lay in a crumple at your side and pull them on before reaching for your t-shirt. You don't pull it over your head; instead you use it to gently wipe the blood of Tavros' body, starting at his bloodied neck and working your way down, dabbing carefully at the cuts, trying to clean him up as a best as possible. You tenderly wipe the mixture of colours away from his abdomen, crotch and thighs, skimming lightly in between his legs and over his arse and rubbing at some of the drying blood on his metal legs.

You reach for his shorts but they are torn badly so you settle for wrapping them around his hips instead and tying a knot with the legs. You slide an arm under his knees and the other goes to cradle his shoulders before you stand up, lifting him from the floor. He is worrying light and curls up against your chest as you turn to the door. His hands move to rest against your bare chest, one curled against your ribs, one directly above your heart.

You carefully make your way over to the darkened entrance, out of the flickering bright lights that the screens emit and try to ignore several things at once; firstly His malicious whispering that echoes and buzzes in your head like an angry horde of bees and secondly the two bodies you pass on the way the door. You know one is Feferi, who you didn't kill, and the other is Eridan, who you did.

Once out of the door it is harder to ignore Sollux's body, which is sprawled on the floor in a puddle of mustard yellow blood. You are briefly tempted to check if he is alive but Tavros is more important; if he's alive than he can wait a little longer in unconsciousness, if not then it doesn't matter. You step around him and carry on through the dark corridor, straining your ears for any sounds other than your footsteps and your breathing, the latter of which blends with Tavros' small breathy sighs. You follow the twisting passage till it opens out onto the roof where you gently lay down Tavros and use your bloodied shirt to cushion his head. He winces when you put him down and clutches you before his hands fall limply down.

You sigh as you look at him but make your way over to the crumpled heap that once was Vriska. Her eyes are still wide and staring, her neck twisted at an impossible angle and her fists still clenched at her side. For all her big talk and vicious actions she still whimpered quietly when you (He) had her in a death grip and you could see her chest heaving and her body shaking. You remember how in her final moment she'd turned to look at Tavros, and you remember how angry that made you (Him) - how dare she look upon him!

{You know you enjoyed killing her, THAT SPIDER BITCH. Easy, so easy. GONE NOW. She's gone forever, never to hurt him again} He croons happily at this and you know what he's thinking; he loves to hurt Tavros, but he's His (Ours) to hurt, no one else's, Ours (Mine),all Ours (His).

You lean down and pick her up, non-too gently but she's gone now and can't complain. You carry her to the edge of the cliff that she was going to push Tavros off and your anger swells and pulses within you and you feel like killing her all over again.

Slow down

Deep breath

Calm yourself

Calm yourself so that you aren't overtaken and controlled once more.

Feeling sufficiently calmer you ignore His laughing in the back of your mind and simply throw Vriska's body off the edge, watching as her broken body twists and arches in her descent. You wait for her body to be swallowed by the darkness, and then wait some more till you here the distant thump of it hitting the ground and only then do you turn back and return to Tavros' side. You crouch beside him and wonder what you will do now, where will you go, how will you survive, how you'll carry on without Tavros besides you.

Suddenly Tavros moans and one of his little hands spasms slightly before lifting up to his face and rubbing at his eye- you are completely still. He frowns beneath his hand and his eyes flicker open and stare ahead. He looks down at his half bare body, covered in scratches and bruises and frowns a little harder, looking upset. His lower lip juts forward and he then turns his head, to look right at you.

He jumps in fright and scrambles sideways, his eyes wide with fright. The fear in his eyes is killing you and you reach a hand out- to touch him, to pull him close, to hold him. He flinches away from it and whimpers

'p-P-pleASe g-GamZeE, n-no moRE' he pleads and that hurts even more; you feel as if your windpipe is being crushed and your heart wrenched into pieces.

'No, TavBrO, iT's Me, PlEaSe' you whisper back at him, almost inheriting his stutter when your tongue doesn't make the right shapes.

His eyes are wide and he seems frozen. Liquid gathers in the corner of his eyes and threatens to spill over as he searches your face.

'G-gamZee?' he stutters, still unsure.

A tear slips from your eye and Tavros' eyes follow it as it drips over your cheekbone and down your face to fall from your jaw.

'PlEaSe' you utter again, hoping so hard that maybe you'll get another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, well, change of plan. Originally this was to be a one shot but I was asked to write about what happens afterwards so I thought I'd give it a shot, from gamzee's POV. This isn't a 'compulsory' ending; just one take on how it could've gone so feel free to discard this part if you don't think it works. Still one more part to go now in this extension. Thank you for all the lovely comments! Enjoy


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